Personal Psychology Series - My Mistake [6]

I Keep On Making The Same Mistake - Over And Over Again. The mistake of thinking that another won’t make the same mistake. Life she's a bundle of joy — not. It’s my issue of course, trusting, assuming, not maintaining awareness and being blind to the obvious. Can one never relax in this life?

The mistake of thinking that another won’t make the same mistake, must result in many people going around in circles. Nothing is solved, nor can be solved when we rely upon another, for we are not in driving seat. We have no say over another. We can only alter our choices and responses. So putting aside my annoyance over this latest episode, the second of the week, I have to question if the mistake the other person made, was a mistake at all. Was it about their inherent nature, a nature that sees the world in a way that is so divorced from mine?

Ok so to place this issue into context let me elaborate to make things a little clearer. The situation may well sound rather pedantic, but the everyday ordinary, and mundane, is the stuff of life — mine and yours. My mistake centred around a kumera. Yes, a vegetable. Even vegetables can be a source of angst in this genetically modified contaminated food chain we consumers have to deal with.

I don’t cook that often, only when in the mood. It’s been a few months in fact since I have cooked other than the quick an easy. Today however it was bitterly cold and I decided to cook a vegetable lasagne. I was in the kitchen for over an hour given the recipe involved making a cashew sauce, cooking lentils, frying onions and roasting vegetables. The request of another was to purchase a kumera; a gold kumera from the organic store. The result one red kumera purchased from a supermarket, not a high end market either. Um...two quite different outcomes. Despite my reservations silly me proceeded to chop up this kumera which was red inside not white. That should have been a warning bell regarding the nature of society we are experiencing. I then proceeded to cook the kumera. Taking it out of the oven it dawned on me why would I want to eat something from a dubious source and acquiesce to a society trend of blood red vegetables that I disagreed with. So I stopped my cooking and left the room. No dinner for me or you tonight.

Then came the reflecting. I had allowed myself to angst over a kumera. I had also asked the wrong person given I knew the task already had a 90% chance of failing given their is a pernicious aspect to their character. Such are the circles we go around in life. Exasperating particularly if you try and solve the problem at the level of the problem. One must think differently. And then the penny dropped for I named what was occurring. What I was seeing in action was passive-aggressive behaviour.

Why this particular kumera made its appearance was to demonstrate that I was 'being played'. Red rag to a bull and all that. Who knows? We can go into overdrive when we get caught up in experiences. Did I say life was a challenge? It’s also fertile learning hence the personal growth that awareness brings. For when we are calmly aware, we can be more discerning and not waste our energy on a kumera. Besides fasting is very good I find. There is always an upside when things don’t work out as planned.

Thinking more deeply and differently about my absent kumera resulted in my deciding that next time I don’t have the right ingredients for a dish don’t attempt to make that particular dish that particular day. Now that's an inherently sensible choice. I also need to train myself not to be lulled into thinking that others have my best interests at heart.

In this way I am fully responsible for ensuring I get what I need and if I don’t fulfil my responsibility to go to the store then like this evening there will be no dinner for me or you tonight.

Date: Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Authoress: Carol Lorraine

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This article authored 2018 - 2019